SGU: 01/06 WATER [SPOILERS]
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stargate_schadenfreudeSpoilers ahead on this liveblogged Tivo-blogged episode of Stargate Universe:
Col. Young questions a couple of guards standing outside the water storage facility. Nobody got by them. Then he talks to Eli and Rush. Eli suggests evaporation, but it's a closed system. Young notes that they're down to half the water they had when they arrived on the ship. Maybe the attempts to get the recycling system working are the issue, says Young. But Eli and Rush say the ship reports no such problems.
Rush questions the accuracy of Young's assertion (half the water is missing) is his usual assholish way, then says "if so, we've got a serious problem." Young gets in his face about how they wouldn't have this problem if they dialed earth. Rush says the ship can't dial earth because the ship's at less than 40% power. I guess sundiving ain't all it's cracked up to be. Young says he pulled that number out of his ass. Eli says that, actually he pulled that number out of his ass. Rush asserts that if the Destiny was ever capable of dialing earth, it was long, long ago--but not now. Young and Rush glare at one another. Young leaves, taking Eli with him.
Cut to civilians milling around. Two discuss the loss of 40,000 liters of water. One suggests the military is hoarding it. "If they control the water, they control us." They notice they're being watched by a Kino. "Yes, we're talking about you!" one says as we see Eli and Young watching them on a monitor. Young decides they're harmless but tells Eli to keep watching; he needs to know who he can trust. (Great way to earn everyone's trust, dude.) Eli says he feels like a spy. Young tells him to clean up his room. No--really. Cue the dust devil from the sand planet behind Eli, who doesn't see it.
Greer is in a corridor. Dust devil darts past behind him. He turns, but doesn't see it. Young appears, Greer says nothing. (Ah, yes, the LOST approach--never, never, ever mention mysterious events lest communication actually short-circuit the "mystery" or the "plot".) Young says he's going to the gate room. "There's a planet in range."
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? There's A planet in range. This is the Stargate universe, right? Where any gate in a given galaxy can dial any other gate in that same galaxy? Right? This is complete plot-driven, grade-A bullshit.
If they want to say that they have no verified addresses, fine. That they don't know what's on the other side and they have a limited supply of Kinos to toss through, also fine. But don't try to tell me there's only one goddamn gate within range.... End Rant.
The planet is very cold, with an unbreathable atmosphere, but lots of ice. Young radios for Lt.Hotlips Scott, who we see is playing kissy-face with Chloe. Lt. McBoobs James, who was screwing Scott in a broom closet in the pilot, finds them and tells Scott Young is looking for him. He scurries away. James looks at Chloe, then leaves.
Young announces that while he's gone, Lt. TJ Medic is in charge. Rush makes a snarky comment. Young and Scott go the planet wearing spacesuits they oh-so-conveniently found (offscreen, no less). They have a plasma cutter to cut blocks of ice. It turns out to be contaminated with ammonia and other not-so-fun things, but they keep looking. Eli sends through a hover dolly (I can't tell if it has PLANET EXPRESS stamped on the side) for them to use to carry the ice back, assuming they find any.
At one point the gate shuts down. Rush arrives. Eli comments on his perfect timing, and Rush tells him it's been thirty-eight minutes--the longest a gate can remain active. Eli is gob-stopped. That's the first he's heard of that! (You'd think someone would have mentioned it in all the briefing videos he watched.)They dial out again and reestablish radio contact with Young and Scott.
Lt. Medic encounters the dust devil while alone in a corridor. She approaches it cautiously. It makes a face at her like the water tentacle in The Abyss, then scampers off when her radio comes to life. She is summoned by Greer; they've discovered that Spencer (a grunt) has several jerry cans of water and a backpack full of ration bars. He claims they're his. She has his locked away for Young to deal with when he returns.
Young and Scott find pure water in a frozen waterfall. Hurray! Greer searches Chloe's quarters. Another civilian gets in his face about it, telling Chloe to confess that she drank 40,000 liters of water. Chloe (who apparently has neither imagination nor a sense of humor) quickly tells Greer that he's kidding. Greer seems to understand that. Civilian objects that they have rights. Greer finishes searching Chloe's room and takes the civilian's room next. Young and Scott cut more ice blocks (using a firearm to blast some ice loose, despite remarking that they have limited ammo--and a cutting torch provided for just this purpose....).
Lt. Medic tells Rush and Eli about thedust devil cloud of alien bugs. Eli is not happy. They consider that this looks like the creature/phenomenon Scott reported on the desert planet. Eli: "You said he was delerious!" Rush: "And I was wrong." It's a first, ladies and gentleman. Rush admits he could have been wrong about something! I still want somebody to scatter his teeth with a pipe wrench, but.... They consider that this might an alien life form that's multiplying since nobody notced it arrive but it might've been just a few at the time.
Lt. Medic decides not to tell anyone else about the alien, but orders everyone to stay in their quarters so they don't wander around and bump into the...creature. She asks Rush for any other suggestions. Rush is (surprise!) a dick. Telling people not to wander around turns out to be good advice, at least if you're a trigger-happy soldier named (I kid you not) Gorman*. Gorman is walking through a corridor when he spots the creature. Naturally, he empties a magazine of irreplaceable ammo at...a swirling cloud of dust/bugs, as if that would hurt it in the first place. The bugs get medieval in his ass. He dies screaming.
The first hover dolly load of ice comes thru the gate. They offload it. Rush tells Young "another matter has come up, but we've got it under control for now." Eli blurts out that aliens are on the ship. Young is surprised, unsurprisingly. Eli elaborates: thousand of tiny flying razor blades floating around the ship like pirhana, and they've murdered Gorman. Rush says he's alive and Lt. Medic is helping him. Eli says he's not gonna make it.
Young starts to return. Rush says they need more ice, Eli is overreacting. A little debate follows. Young decides to stick and get another load of ice. They send the hover dolly back through and close the gate. Rush tells Eli he needs to learn when to shut up. Eli argues that Rush can't lie to Young. Rush says they need more ice. Eli says that doesn't mean he can lie. Rush says yes it does, stop acting like a child. Rush walks away, says, "We need to figure this out." Pause. "I said WE." Eli scowls, but obediently follows. Everyone else stands around not saying a word.
Rush's teeth + pipe wrench, I'm telling you...I'd pay money to see that.
Greer has a homemade flamethrower. Eli wonders about it. "Hey, I can invent things too." I like Greer. Rush says that torching the bugs may only antagonize them further. Everyone wants to do something about them. Eli isn't the only one who's twigged to the fact that the aliens show up while their water is disappearing. Lt. Medic send Greer and others to search it--no torching!
Young and Scott labor on Ice Planet Hoth. Greer & company search for the Monster Du Jour. Lt. Medic, Rush and Eli observe via terminal. They're growing in numbers exponentially. Rush tells Lt. Medic "You have to get them off the ship." Greer finds the (main) swarm. After a blast of his flame thrower in its direction, it moves when he advances. Eli says they need an airlock. Rush says there are none--not in any of the habitable parts of the ship, anyhow. Lt. Medic says "I know what to do."
A ground tremor opens a crevice and Lt. Scott falls through the ice. Yeah. Didn't see that (or something similar) coming. Young lowers a line and they try to pull Scott free, but he's stuck fast. Young radios the ship about the third spacesuit, but they stopped working on it when everyone was confined to quarters. Oops. Young says they'll manage, and how's that bug situation? Lt. Medic says everything's fine. End transmission. Eli: "Everyone is lying!" Rush: "Yeah, grownups do that sometimes."
Pipe wrench. Rush's teeth. Nice slick corridor floor. Some (dis)assembly may be required.
Greer continues herding the bugs. Young and Scott throw around dumb ideas for freeing him (bonus: they recognize them as dumb, which is an improvement on this show). Chloe is listening to her iPod when Lt.McBoobs James tells her Scott's stuck in a crevice. Thought she'd want to know.
Scott's suit is losing pressure now* too. Rush reminds Young of the time pressure. Young refuses to leave Scott behind. Chloe (who is now on the "bridge" demands of Rush, "What is the matter with you?" Rush tells Scott Young might not make it back if he tries to rescue Scott.
Greer herds the bugs into a compartment and locks the massive door. Rush turns off the ventilation inside.
Young and Scott have heartfelt heroic conversation. Scott: Leave me! Young: Not a chance!
The bugs escape the compartment. Lt. Medic goes to help.
Scott is unconscious. Young is apparently having an idea as he looks around. Another tremor apparently opens the crevice some more. Young grabs the rope as Scott falls, then pulls him to safety.
Lt. Medic is gonna give the bugs a jerry can of water, or at least distract them with it. She sends Greer away, out of sight. Okay, she's got a sealed path to the gate room. She opens a can of water; the bugs fly into it. They throw the can through the gate. The bugs break out of the can, swarm, and look at Lt. Scott through his visor, then fly off. Young dials the gate and returns with Scott. Rush sits at the control panel obviously annoyed, frustrated and full of hatred and resentment at Young for bring Scott back instead of more ice. Fuck him.
Young gives Spencer a slap on the wrist. Young is swarmed by people with questions, demands, complaints; he ignores them all and walks away. KinoConfessional Time! Yay! Young reports that Gorman croaked.
NEXT on SGU! A whole episode devoted to using the goddamned comm stones. Eli, Young, and someone else (now they have THREE) are "on earth" while other people run around in their bodies on the ship. Col. Telford tries (again!) to seize command aboard Destiny. Will Lt. Medic slip him another mickey? Tune in next week and find out!
*I've not seen the end of the episode yet, but I predict: the leak will deflate his suit enough that he can escape....hmm, okay, not so much..
Col. Young questions a couple of guards standing outside the water storage facility. Nobody got by them. Then he talks to Eli and Rush. Eli suggests evaporation, but it's a closed system. Young notes that they're down to half the water they had when they arrived on the ship. Maybe the attempts to get the recycling system working are the issue, says Young. But Eli and Rush say the ship reports no such problems.
Rush questions the accuracy of Young's assertion (half the water is missing) is his usual assholish way, then says "if so, we've got a serious problem." Young gets in his face about how they wouldn't have this problem if they dialed earth. Rush says the ship can't dial earth because the ship's at less than 40% power. I guess sundiving ain't all it's cracked up to be. Young says he pulled that number out of his ass. Eli says that, actually he pulled that number out of his ass. Rush asserts that if the Destiny was ever capable of dialing earth, it was long, long ago--but not now. Young and Rush glare at one another. Young leaves, taking Eli with him.
Cut to civilians milling around. Two discuss the loss of 40,000 liters of water. One suggests the military is hoarding it. "If they control the water, they control us." They notice they're being watched by a Kino. "Yes, we're talking about you!" one says as we see Eli and Young watching them on a monitor. Young decides they're harmless but tells Eli to keep watching; he needs to know who he can trust. (Great way to earn everyone's trust, dude.) Eli says he feels like a spy. Young tells him to clean up his room. No--really. Cue the dust devil from the sand planet behind Eli, who doesn't see it.
Greer is in a corridor. Dust devil darts past behind him. He turns, but doesn't see it. Young appears, Greer says nothing. (Ah, yes, the LOST approach--never, never, ever mention mysterious events lest communication actually short-circuit the "mystery" or the "plot".) Young says he's going to the gate room. "There's a planet in range."
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? There's A planet in range. This is the Stargate universe, right? Where any gate in a given galaxy can dial any other gate in that same galaxy? Right? This is complete plot-driven, grade-A bullshit.
If they want to say that they have no verified addresses, fine. That they don't know what's on the other side and they have a limited supply of Kinos to toss through, also fine. But don't try to tell me there's only one goddamn gate within range.... End Rant.
The planet is very cold, with an unbreathable atmosphere, but lots of ice. Young radios for Lt.
Young announces that while he's gone, Lt. TJ Medic is in charge. Rush makes a snarky comment. Young and Scott go the planet wearing spacesuits they oh-so-conveniently found (offscreen, no less). They have a plasma cutter to cut blocks of ice. It turns out to be contaminated with ammonia and other not-so-fun things, but they keep looking. Eli sends through a hover dolly (I can't tell if it has PLANET EXPRESS stamped on the side) for them to use to carry the ice back, assuming they find any.
At one point the gate shuts down. Rush arrives. Eli comments on his perfect timing, and Rush tells him it's been thirty-eight minutes--the longest a gate can remain active. Eli is gob-stopped. That's the first he's heard of that! (You'd think someone would have mentioned it in all the briefing videos he watched.)They dial out again and reestablish radio contact with Young and Scott.
Lt. Medic encounters the dust devil while alone in a corridor. She approaches it cautiously. It makes a face at her like the water tentacle in The Abyss, then scampers off when her radio comes to life. She is summoned by Greer; they've discovered that Spencer (a grunt) has several jerry cans of water and a backpack full of ration bars. He claims they're his. She has his locked away for Young to deal with when he returns.
Young and Scott find pure water in a frozen waterfall. Hurray! Greer searches Chloe's quarters. Another civilian gets in his face about it, telling Chloe to confess that she drank 40,000 liters of water. Chloe (who apparently has neither imagination nor a sense of humor) quickly tells Greer that he's kidding. Greer seems to understand that. Civilian objects that they have rights. Greer finishes searching Chloe's room and takes the civilian's room next. Young and Scott cut more ice blocks (using a firearm to blast some ice loose, despite remarking that they have limited ammo--and a cutting torch provided for just this purpose....).
Lt. Medic tells Rush and Eli about the
Lt. Medic decides not to tell anyone else about the alien, but orders everyone to stay in their quarters so they don't wander around and bump into the...creature. She asks Rush for any other suggestions. Rush is (surprise!) a dick. Telling people not to wander around turns out to be good advice, at least if you're a trigger-happy soldier named (I kid you not) Gorman*. Gorman is walking through a corridor when he spots the creature. Naturally, he empties a magazine of irreplaceable ammo at...a swirling cloud of dust/bugs, as if that would hurt it in the first place. The bugs get medieval in his ass. He dies screaming.
The first hover dolly load of ice comes thru the gate. They offload it. Rush tells Young "another matter has come up, but we've got it under control for now." Eli blurts out that aliens are on the ship. Young is surprised, unsurprisingly. Eli elaborates: thousand of tiny flying razor blades floating around the ship like pirhana, and they've murdered Gorman. Rush says he's alive and Lt. Medic is helping him. Eli says he's not gonna make it.
Young starts to return. Rush says they need more ice, Eli is overreacting. A little debate follows. Young decides to stick and get another load of ice. They send the hover dolly back through and close the gate. Rush tells Eli he needs to learn when to shut up. Eli argues that Rush can't lie to Young. Rush says they need more ice. Eli says that doesn't mean he can lie. Rush says yes it does, stop acting like a child. Rush walks away, says, "We need to figure this out." Pause. "I said WE." Eli scowls, but obediently follows. Everyone else stands around not saying a word.
Rush's teeth + pipe wrench, I'm telling you...I'd pay money to see that.
Greer has a homemade flamethrower. Eli wonders about it. "Hey, I can invent things too." I like Greer. Rush says that torching the bugs may only antagonize them further. Everyone wants to do something about them. Eli isn't the only one who's twigged to the fact that the aliens show up while their water is disappearing. Lt. Medic send Greer and others to search it--no torching!
Young and Scott labor on Ice Planet Hoth. Greer & company search for the Monster Du Jour. Lt. Medic, Rush and Eli observe via terminal. They're growing in numbers exponentially. Rush tells Lt. Medic "You have to get them off the ship." Greer finds the (main) swarm. After a blast of his flame thrower in its direction, it moves when he advances. Eli says they need an airlock. Rush says there are none--not in any of the habitable parts of the ship, anyhow. Lt. Medic says "I know what to do."
A ground tremor opens a crevice and Lt. Scott falls through the ice. Yeah. Didn't see that (or something similar) coming. Young lowers a line and they try to pull Scott free, but he's stuck fast. Young radios the ship about the third spacesuit, but they stopped working on it when everyone was confined to quarters. Oops. Young says they'll manage, and how's that bug situation? Lt. Medic says everything's fine. End transmission. Eli: "Everyone is lying!" Rush: "Yeah, grownups do that sometimes."
Pipe wrench. Rush's teeth. Nice slick corridor floor. Some (dis)assembly may be required.
Greer continues herding the bugs. Young and Scott throw around dumb ideas for freeing him (bonus: they recognize them as dumb, which is an improvement on this show). Chloe is listening to her iPod when Lt.
Scott's suit is losing pressure now* too. Rush reminds Young of the time pressure. Young refuses to leave Scott behind. Chloe (who is now on the "bridge" demands of Rush, "What is the matter with you?" Rush tells Scott Young might not make it back if he tries to rescue Scott.
Greer herds the bugs into a compartment and locks the massive door. Rush turns off the ventilation inside.
Young and Scott have heartfelt heroic conversation. Scott: Leave me! Young: Not a chance!
The bugs escape the compartment. Lt. Medic goes to help.
Scott is unconscious. Young is apparently having an idea as he looks around. Another tremor apparently opens the crevice some more. Young grabs the rope as Scott falls, then pulls him to safety.
Lt. Medic is gonna give the bugs a jerry can of water, or at least distract them with it. She sends Greer away, out of sight. Okay, she's got a sealed path to the gate room. She opens a can of water; the bugs fly into it. They throw the can through the gate. The bugs break out of the can, swarm, and look at Lt. Scott through his visor, then fly off. Young dials the gate and returns with Scott. Rush sits at the control panel obviously annoyed, frustrated and full of hatred and resentment at Young for bring Scott back instead of more ice. Fuck him.
Young gives Spencer a slap on the wrist. Young is swarmed by people with questions, demands, complaints; he ignores them all and walks away. KinoConfessional Time! Yay! Young reports that Gorman croaked.
NEXT on SGU! A whole episode devoted to using the goddamned comm stones. Eli, Young, and someone else (now they have THREE) are "on earth" while other people run around in their bodies on the ship. Col. Telford tries (again!) to seize command aboard Destiny. Will Lt. Medic slip him another mickey? Tune in next week and find out!
*I've not seen the end of the episode yet, but I predict: the leak will deflate his suit enough that he can escape....hmm, okay, not so much..